


The Cat-astrophe of Oberon Smoak

by andachippedcup



Series: The Obie Extended Universe (OEU) [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cat, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Light-Hearted, Oliver gets usurped by a cat, Pet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25975516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andachippedcup/pseuds/andachippedcup
Summary: Oliver Queen is in love with his girlfriend, Felicity Smoak. So, when she brings him to her apartment for the first time he's excited at what this step means for the progression of their relationship. He's less excited, however, about Felicity's rather large, rather terrifying pet cat - Oberon.
Relationships: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Series: The Obie Extended Universe (OEU) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885321
Comments: 66
Kudos: 181





	The Cat-astrophe of Oberon Smoak

Oliver is smitten with Felicity Smoak the minute he meets her; he’s quite certain that the moment their eyes lock, the IT floor of Palmer Tech becomes his favorite floor in the entire building. Forget the other few dozen stories - IT is the only one he cares about. If he never sees the inside of Ray Palmer’s office again, that’s a loss he’s willing to take. 

Her eyes are what he notices first; stormy blue and boasting whip smart intelligence. Her lips draw his attention soon after - they’re full and painted a shade of candy apple red that’s got him wanting to kiss her until every trace of lipstick has faded. He wants to know what her natural lip color is. And when she smiles? It nearly bowls him over. But the reproving head tilt she gives him after learning he spilled a latte on his laptop on his way up to Ray Palmer’s office for a meeting with the Palmer Tech board? That head tilt nearly does him in.

But as taken as he is with her looks, it’s Felicity Smoak’s personality that really sends Oliver clear over the moon about her. Just in their brief conversation, her intellect leaps out at him and grabs him. He’s quite convinced she just may be the smartest person he’s ever met. She rambles too, which is a trait that is so wholly disarming and simultaneously charming that he finds himself staring at her not in amusement so much as… adoration? Her little nervous chattering tells him so much about her and really, he’s loving everything he’s learning. 

Which is why he sends a courier to her desk at precisely 5:01pm - after the end of business hours - to ask her if she’d like to get coffee. He makes it abundantly clear that he’s not trying any underhanded corporate shenanigans; Palmer Tech and Queen Consolidated, after all, are partners on this project they’re working on. Work doesn’t factor into this request at all, he explains. He’s just a man who is trying to listen to fate after it let his path cross hers. If she feels similarly, she can meet him at the corner cafe. And if she doesn’t? Well. He’ll count his lucky stars for having met her today and call that good enough. 

To his delight, Felicity Smoak meets him at the corner cafe a scant sixteen minutes after receiving her invite by courier, a little breathless and with a bit of color high in her cheeks. Together, they talk for the next three and a half hours, losing all track of time until Oliver gets a griping phone call from his sister, reminding him he is  _ very  _ late to a family game night. He and Felicity part after exchanging phone numbers and the promise of dinner together soon.

And so begins Oliver Queen’s courtship of Felicity Smoak.

It’s a courtship that, by and large, has gone off without a hitch. The initial coffee date is followed by a very nice dinner date that lasts so long, the restaurant has to politely kick them out when they’re there past closing, having forgotten to check the clock. Next Oliver takes her to an art gallery and drinks, while their fourth date is spent at a local bowling alley where she completely decimates him in three consecutive games. It’s after this fourth date that they finally kiss and Oliver rides that high all week, prompting his family to comment on his ‘unusually buoyant attitude’. Together, Oliver and Felicity go to the movies, to a skating rink, and she even cajoles him into going horseback riding with her. They text nonstop. They meet for lunch at a little deli located roughly equidistant from their respective office buildings. And it’s all just so  _ right  _ that Oliver finds himself falling deeper and deeper in this ‘head over heels’ brand of love he harbors for her. 

And then, after they’ve been dating for a couple months, he meets her pet cat.

_ Oberon Smoak.  _

He’s listened to Felicity mention the cat all this time, so Oliver thinks he’s prepared to meet the little furball in the flesh. As Felicity ushers him into her apartment, the cat isn’t even on his radar. Oliver has been told that if you want a cat to like you, you have to pretend to be indifferent to them - if you want their attention, they’ll sense it and shirk you. And he can’t have that. He’s got to make a good impression on Felicity’s cat. She apparently puts no small amount of stock in Oberon’s opinion of people who enter his domain. And for Oliver? It’s important that Felicity have a good opinion of him. He’s keenly aware that she’s too good for him but he’s  _ trying  _ to be the man she deserves. She makes him want to be better. 

So this cat? It needs to like him. This first meeting has to go well. And if acting like the cat isn’t there can make that happen? Psh. That’s almost too easy.

But Oliver’s indifference to the cat changes the precise moment he lays eyes on the damn creature, who saunters to the front door as Oliver steps inside Felicity’s quaint tenth story walkup. 

“Oliver, I’d like you to meet Oberon - the other important man in my life,” Felicity teases by way of introduction and Oliver forces a smile as he looks over the cat skeptically. 

First of all? Oberon Smoak?  _ Definitely not a cat.  _ Oliver’s first impression is that this animal is perhaps ¼ domestic housecat, ½ lion, and ¼ demon. 

For starters? This ‘cat’ is  _ massive.  _ He hasn’t got a clue how much the thing weighs but when it rises onto its hind legs and stretches its front paws onto Felicity’s waist, it’s very quickly apparent that the thing is more than half Felicity’s size in terms of length. And good god, the fur on him? There’s probably enough hair on that cat to make half a dozen regular sized cats, easily. 

Oberon is a pale orange color mixed with cream and white hairs, which Felicity explains, has earned him the nickname ‘Peaches and Cream’ from Felicity. But there’s absolutely nothing sweet about this creature. This cat, Oliver is convinced, escaped from the bowels of the underworld because not even a three headed dog would be dumb enough to block this wretched creature’s path. 

As if sensing the growing animosity Oliver has for him, the cat falls back onto all fours and approaches Oliver before leaping up onto the entryway table, making Oliver flinch violently.

_ “Sweet Jesus,”  _ he utters in alarm, prompting Felicity to giggle. From his new, elevated vantage, Oberon squints at Oliver, his massive, plumed tail lashing from side to side, his little nose twitching as he scents the air around Oliver. 

“You can hold your hand out for him to smell, that’ll help him warm up to you,” Felicity explains and Oliver looks at her, appalled. Give his hand to this part lion hellcat? Is she nuts? 

Not wanting to look weak or cowardly in front of his girlfriend, Oliver hesitantly stretches a hand towards the demonic creature, watching as the little nose begins to twitch more intently. Oberon smells Oliver thoroughly and then does something so unexpected, Oliver nearly jumps out of his skin: 

The damn cat  _ licks his hand.  _

“Wha-at is that?” Oliver can’t keep the panic out of his voice even as his whole body freezes, his eyes round with fear as a sandpaper tongue drags across his skin. It’s like the fucking cat is trying to flay the very skin off his bones. Good lord and this is her  _ pet?!  _

“Aww he likes you! He’s giving you some Obie kisses!” Felicity’s nose crinkles in delight but Oliver can only watch in abject horror as the cat continues licking his fingertips. Oberon’s tongue is rough and the sensation is not pleasant but a moment later when the damn thing actually nibbles on his hand, Oliver can’t help but pull his hand away with a shrill yelp. 

“He  _ bit me!”  _ Oliver protests and Felicity covers her mouth with one hand and fakes a cough to hide her quiet laughter. 

“I’m so sorry, he does that sometimes. They’re love nibbles though, for what it’s worth? He does it to me when he gets really excited but he’s always very gentle, never breaks the skin. Sorry if he scared you,” she explains, moving forward to scoop the beast up. As Oliver watches, she cradles the monster in her arms and the cat seems to stretch out in her embrace as she rubs his stomach.

As his girlfriend pads deeper into her apartment, Oliver locks eyes with the cat in her arms and what he sees there makes him shiver. One look into those soulless eyes and Oliver knows: this cat will kill him while he sleeps and make it look like an accident.  Mental note to self: all future sleepovers between him and Felicity should take place at Oliver’s loft; he doesn’t want to give this cat the opportunity to murder him. 

Felicity sets Oberon down on the couch as she shows Oliver the living room, then she continues on with the grand tour. In truth though, Oliver is only half paying attention; the other half of his focus is on the guard cat following doggedly behind them as they move through Felicity’s place. Oliver has the distinct impression he’s being stalked by a predator. 

His suspicions about the creature are reinforced when he points to a small contraption on Felicity’s balcony. “What’s that?” 

She follows his gaze and smiles. “Oh! That’s a bird feeder! Obie likes to watch the birds eat at it. He’s got a really active prey drive.” 

_ A really active prey drive.  _ That sounds like science speak for ‘he really likes to hunt’ and Oliver is fairly certain that the only thing on Oberon’s menu is him. 

After the tour, Felicity shoos Oliver to the couch, handing him the remote for her smart TV. “Go ahead, see what movie sounds good! I’m going to make us some popcorn. And do you want something to drink?” 

Oliver’s about to sit on the couch and respond to her when the hell beast himself jumps up and curls up precisely in the spot Oliver was about to occupy. Felicity grins and reaches a hand towards her pet, carding her fingers through his long fur. 

“Go ahead, you can pet him! He’s a sweet boy, aren’t you Obie?” Felicity murmurs and as Oliver watches, she leans down and presses a kiss to the cat’s forehead. To the cat’s credit, he tilts his head to meet Felicity, allowing his forehead to bump hers before he rubs his cheek on Felicity’s several times over. That done, the monster then simply falls to licking her face clean with great fervor. 

Great. Felicity has now gotten more kisses from this fucking cat today than she has from Oliver. The injustice wounds him. 

“So umm, w-where’d you come up with ‘Oberon’?” Oliver queries by way of small talk, his hand hovering over but not quite yet touching the horror sitting next to him. Felicity flashes him a smile and nods as she scratches the cat behind his ears in parting before she strolls back into her kitchen, talking at him over her shoulder as she goes. 

“Oh, he’s definitely named after the Shakespeare character! I was really stuck between ‘Oberon’ and ‘Benvolio’. And I made my choice based on what nicknames I would use for each respective name. For Oberon, I knew I’d call him Obie, because it reminded me of Obi Wan Kenobi. But for Benvolio I would have called him Ben and well, Ben Solo has wounded my heart too much to name my cat after him,” Felicity explains with intentionally overblown dramatics before she shoots Oliver a wink. 

But by way of answer, Oliver can only stare blankly, prompting Felicity’s face to fall. 

“Oh come on, I thought that was funny! You know, Obi Wan Kenobi? Star Wars?” Felicity prompts him and Oliver just shakes his head slowly, completely out of the loop. 

“I’m sorry. I-I don’t know anything about any Star Wars,” Oliver offers meekly, prompting Felicity’s mouth to drop open wide in surprise. 

“Okay well… we will have to remedy that. And fast. Because I cannot be caught dead dating a man with absolutely  _ no  _ knowledge of Star Wars. I’m pretty sure that would get my nerd card revoked and we can’t have that. I’m rather attached to my nerd status, you know.” 

And that is how Oliver finds himself curled up with Felicity on her couch, binging their way through the first of eleven  _ (eleven!)  _ sci fi movies that he’s previously heard of but managed to avoid watching. And really, spending a day (or a week because good god, they’re going to be at this for a while) on the couch with Felicity in his arms? That’s not such a bad way to pass the time.

Except for the (not so) small matter of Oberon.

The fluffy gremlin stays curled up pointedly in between Oliver and Felicity, acting as an impenetrable barrier between Oliver and his girlfriend. Which is a crying shame, because if not for the cat? Oliver is in a prime position to do the classic ‘stretch and then drape your arm across her shoulders’ move.

Damn it. 

As if sensing his disdain, the cat rises and gives a languid stretch, then marches right into Felicity’s lap and curls up there. Felicity’s hands instantly occupy themselves stroking the cat’s long fur and scratching beneath his chin and on the side of his face. Oberon’s eyes slant closed and a deep, throaty rumble begins to emanate from him, eliciting no small measure of concern from Oliver.

“Umm… is he growling at you?” 

Oliver’s not precisely afraid of having to fend off his girlfriend’s monster ‘pet’, but he’s pretty certain having to save her from her own pet might create some tension in their still blossoming relationship. To his surprise and confusion, Felicity just laughs quietly, tearing her eyes from the screen to look at Oliver with crinkle nosed delight. 

“Of course not! He’s purring, silly. It means he’s happy.” 

Well no shit he’s happy. The damn cat is curled up in Felicity Smoak’s lap. Oliver would be pretty happy if  _ he  _ got to curl up there too. 

As the movie goes on, Oliver sidles closer to Felicity, still intent on cuddling with her. But before he can close the final gap between them, the damn cat oozes off of Felicity’s lap and pointedly marches across the couch and into Oliver’s lap, where he sits down and stares coolly into Oliver’s eyes. It’s as if he’s taunting Oliver. 

_ Make a move on my mom? Not on my watch.  _

And the cat just sits there. Unmoving. Unblinking. Staring. And Oliver is trapped beneath him, completely unable to finish his slow scoot across the couch to reach Felicity. Because of this damn cart, he's now stuck where he is, distinctly outside of cuddling range. 

Damn it.

“Aww, he likes you! He doesn’t walk into just anybody’s lap,” Felicity explains, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Oliver’s stubbled cheek. As she does so, Oberon reaches out with one paw and gives Felicity's face a feather light little bop, as if trying to shoo her away from Oliver. 

“Aww, Obie are you jealous? Is Oliver yours? You need to learn to share him,” Felicity croons, reaching out and scratching the cat’s head. Once more, the massive beast becomes putty in her hands, purring and angling his head this way and that to bring his face into further contact with Felicity’s fingers. It’s an innocent looking enough move but Oliver sees through it. 

She thinks this monster cat  _ likes him?! _ Oh God. Love really is blind. There's no way Oberon likes Oliver - he's definitely doing everything in his little feline ability to keep Oliver away from Felicity because he  _ dislikes _ Oliver and wants him to keep away from Felicity.  This damn cat has just announced war between himself and Oliver. Trying to push Felicity away as she kisses Oliver? Yeah. No. That’s not gonna fly. Oliver isn't precisely certain what it means or looks like to be at war with a cat but he's going to find out.

To his chagrin, Oberon remains on his lap for the remainder of the movie. As the credits roll, Felicity leaps up and grins over her shoulder at Oliver. “You two stay put. I’m going to make us more popcorn and then I’ll be back.” 

Before he can object to being left alone with the hellcat, she’s gone and Oliver finds a pair of calculating, cool green eyes boring into his own. Shit. His nerves ratchet up a bit and Oliver’s trying to decide how best to remove the animal when he realizes how ridiculous he’s being. This is Felicity’s pet. He’s basically her family. And Oliver needs to be okay with this creature because if his instincts are right? Felicity will someday become  _ Oliver’s  _ family too - which means this mini lion is going to be part of the package. 

Oliver needs to be okay with Oberon. He’s got to. It’s as simple as that, really. 

Reaching out one tentative hand, Oliver strokes the beast’s ruff. The massive, shaggy head angles towards Oliver and the eyes turn to slits. Once more, the deep brass rumble kicks up and Oliver has a moment of relief. The thing is purring. That was supposed to be a good sign according to Felicity, right? Huh. Maybe she was right? Maybe this giant ghoul of a cat actually likes him? 

“You’re not scary at all, are you? I can’t believe I let myself get freaked out by a stinking cat,” Oliver snorts. Almost at once, the sound of the purring changes, grows lower and alters in sound. This time there’s no mistaking what the sound is - it’s a definite growl. And if Oliver needed confirmation, he gets it in the form of a quick paw swipe from the damn cat, smacking him right in the face - though thankfully, without claws. 

Oliver can only blink in shock at the hairy demon in his lap and then he scowls at him.

“You little shit!” Oliver hisses in an undertone.

“Popcorn!” Felicity chimes in as she comes sweeping back into the living room on a current of butter and salt, a large plastic blue bowl clutched in her hands. She takes all of one glance at Oliver and quirks a brow at him as she sits back down in her previous spot. “What’s got you looking so off kilter?” 

Naturally, the cat isn’t growling - he stopped the moment Felicity came back into the room. Oliver looks from Felicity to the cat and back again, weighing his options. If he's truthful, he might be shooting any chances of getting a 'good assessment' from Obie in the foot. But if he doesn't tell her? Well. The evil eye he's getting from this cat has put the fear of god in him. Oliver doesn't want Felicity leaving him alone and defenseless with this monster again and honestly, she should _know_ precisely what kind of terror is lurking in her living room. “Your cat growled at me,” he chokes out and Felicity frowns at Oberon.

“Obie! Did you growl at Oliver?” Felicity asks sternly. In response, the cat’s tail flicks straight up and he leaps off of Oliver’s lap and right to Felicity’s where he promptly curls up and begins to purr at an absurd volume. Felicity’s lips twist into some amalgamation of a smile and a frown as she tries to maintain her serious facade even while her joy breaks through. “Now you listen here Mister Man, I told you we  _ like  _ Oliver,” Felicity explains as she boops Oberon’s nose with a feather light touch, prompting him to purr somehow, impossibly louder still. Her eyes slide back to Oliver, a soft, genuine gleam in the deep blue of her eyes. “We like Oliver  _ a lot.”  _

With her left hand buried in Oberon’s fur, Felicity’s right hand reaches out across the small gap separating her and Oliver, and she twines her fingers through his in a simple, tender touch. Not missing a beat, Oliver lifts her hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the back of her hand. 

As he does so, he makes eye contact with Oberon and sees that the cat’s ears have flicked back in an expression that inherently reeks of disapproval. 

So maybe he was right. He  _ is  _ at war with a cat. 

Game on. 

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first in a series of one-shots in the Obie Extended Universe (OEU). Oliver and Oberon will continue to face off against each other in a fight for Felicity's heart - and for the right to cuddle her on the couch.


End file.
